*BUMP* TB special: Most fashionable (and screw loose) world leaders

Hello TB fans! Today we introduce a new column, “The Top10 List”. This column will be different to what you are used to in TB, it will not be concentrating on basketball (maybe sometimes) but will rather evolve around any interesting, weird or just off-topic subject that comes into my (twisted) mind. In the 1st edition I present you the Top10 best (or not) dressed World Leaders.

10. Hassanal Bolkiah Mu’izzaddin Waddaulah, Sultan of Brunei {jathumbnail off}

Interesting (and luxurious) facts: Has two wives, one former 2nd wife (whatever that means), has 3.000-6.000 cars worth $4.000.000.000, yes that’s $4 billions! Also has 1 Boeing 747-400, a theme park park worth $3 billions, lives in a tiny 200,000 m² house with 1.788 rooms, 257 bathrooms (that’s a lot of bathrooms to clean by the way).

9. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran

Interesting (and horrifying) facts: Disregards human rights, wants to make nuclear weapons, has a PhD in transportation engineering and planning, denies the Holocaust, self-proclaimed inventor of “earthquake saferoom”. Tried to do one positive thing by allowing women to be able to watch men football matches live but clerics did not allow it.

8. Evo Morales, President of Bolivia

Interesting facts: First fully indigenous head of state in the 470 years since the Spanish Conquest, herded lamas for a living as a teenager, declares himself as the 1st American President, he is single and therefore his sister acts as the First Lady, in 2006 he cut his own salary by 57% (he probably predicted the economic crisis), striped sweaters is his fetish, plays football for local clubs.

7. King Mswati III, King of Swaziland

Interesting (and scary) facts: Africa’s last absolute monarch, in 2001 he banned sex for people under 18 for five years to stop HIV and AIDS but then violated his own law marrying a 17 year old (who became his 13th wife) and as a result was fined a cow (which he paid), currently ranked 18th on Parade Magazine’s 2009 World’s Worst Dictator list, has 14 wives and 23 children (come on, you can surely do better than that), uses Reed Dance occasion to choose new wives from 100.000 topless candidates, wanted to sterilize and brand HIV positive patients.

6. Mishiko Saakashvili, President of Georgia

Interesting facts: He thinks his dressing is so “tasteful” that he actually has a habit of eating his own clothes (see image above), has authoritarian tendencies and disrespects human rights, has a habit of rigging elections and using riot-police to crush any opposition, speaks English, Dutch, Russian, Ukrainian, Spanish and Ossetian, survived an assassination attempt (alongside George Bush) in 2005.

5. Fidel Castro, (former) President of Cuba

Interesting facts: Ruled Cuba from 1959 to 2008, that’s one year short of 50, survived 683 assassination attempts (must be a world record), has a law degree, abused human rights, famous for his quotes, sent Cuban troops to Angola and Ethiopia, awarded the “the Golden Medal  and the First Class Order of the National Flag” by North Korea, seen as an icon in Harlem because of his historic visit there with Malcolm X, has 8 children with four different women, author of 12 books.

4. Kim Jong II, Leader of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea

Interesting (and creepy) facts: Commands the 4th largest army in the world, described by CNN as “one of the most mysterious leaders in the world”, was actually born in Russia (then Soviet Union), formerly known as Yuri Irsenovich Kim, caused his older brother’s accidental drowning at the age of 5, his official biography claims that when he was born a double rainbow and a new star appeared in the sky.

Learned English in Malta, being a cinema freak himself some of his books were made into films, ordered the  bombardment of Korean Air Flight 858 which resulted in 115 deaths, makes nuclear weapons, rumoured to have passed away in 2003 (and then in 2004, and then in 2008, and then in 2009), dishonoured his elder son after he was arrested in Japan traveling with a fake passport to visit Disneyland, his birthday is one of the most important public holidays in the country

Many North Koreans believe that he has the “magical” ability to “change the weather” based on his mood, The song No Motherland Without You , sung by the North Korean Army Choir, was created especially for Kim and is one of the most popular tunes in the country, he forced the husband of a Korean film star to divorce her so she could be his mistress, has a fear of flying – therefore always travels with an armoured train – to where he has live lobsters air-lifted every day.

Has a 20.000 films collection, although he is a cinema buff he is not famous for his taste in films as his favourites ones are Friday 13th, Rambo, James Bond and Godzilla series while his favourite actress is Elizabeth Taylor (good but not great choice), author of the book “On the Art of the Cinema”. Ordered the kindapping of South Korean film director Shin Sang-ok and his actress wife Choi Eun-hee in order to build a North Korean film industry.

I saved the best for last. Kim Jong II is a major basketball fan. Former United States Secretary of State Madeleine Albright ended her summit with Kim by presenting him with a basketball signed by NBA legend Michael Jordan. Some of his other hobbies include golf (he claims to routinely shoot three or four holes-in-one per round – the odds of making a single hole-in-one in one round are around 1 in 5000), opera (claims to have written six of them) and staging elaborate musicals.

3. Yulia Timoshenko, Prime Minister of Ukraine

Interesting (and sexy) facts: Key leaders of the “Orange Revolution”, has a Ph.D. in economics and has written about 50 papers, founded a Komsomol video rental chain (probably the first ever of its kind), nicknamed “Gas Princess”, accused of reselling enormous quantities of stolen gas and avoiding taxation, one of the wealthiest oligarchs in Ukraine.

Arrested on charges of forging customs documents and smuggling of gas, smashed a jail window in live TV during a rally, civilian and military prosecutors in Russia opened a criminal case against her accusing her of bribery which were suspended when she went to Moscow for questioning.

In 2005, Forbes magazine named her third most powerful woman in the world but she did not even make the top 100 next year. Copied and published as her own an anti-Russian article by Henry Kissinger. Survived an assassination attempt with minor injuries. dubbed by the Western Media as the “Joan of the Arc” and hailed as one of the most beautiful women ever to enter politics.

But the two most interesting facts are surely that she does her hairstyle herself and that she is hot, hot, hot!

2. Vladimir Putin, Prime Minister of Russia

Interesting facts: His grandfather was a a cook for Lenin and Stalin, both of his elder brothers died, one in the Siege of Leningrad, he joined KGB upon university graduation in 1975, he was stationed in East Germany for five years, he achieved impressive economic reforms and results,  he was accused of human rights violation and leading the Chechnya War and he never took bribes during his time in office in St Petersburg.

Owns a black Labrador Retriever, allegedly controls a 4.5% stake in Gazprom, 37%  in Surgutneftegaz and 50% in Gunvor, worth totally about $70 billions. He is a sambo and judo specialist (martial arts) and co-authored a book on judo. An enitre ideology was named after him.

Legend has it that Putin can eat three kilograms of Polonium 210 without making a face,  can solve any diplomatical crisis, with his fists, that he invented democracy, that when he plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy, that when the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Putin and the most scary of all that in a fight between Chuck Norris and Putin, the winner would be Putin.

1. Muammar al-Gaddafi, Leader of Libya

Interesting facts: Survived an assassination attempt by Britain’s secret intelligence service, known as ‘the handsome’ at young age, has stylish taste for safari suits and shades, named as the new “Che Guevara” of the age, sponsored rebel movements in Western Africa, widely regarded in the West as the principal financier of international terrorism in the 80’s,  dubbed as “mad dog of the Middle East.” by Reagan.

Lost his daughter to U.S. bombardments, sent guns to IRA, accused 5 Bulgarian nurses of infecting 426 Libyan children with HIV, accepted reponsibility of Libya regarding the bomb on Pan Am Flight 103 which killed 270 and paid $2.7 billion as compensation, survived an assassination attempt by the Libyan army.

Built the largest underground network of pipes and viaducts in the world, has 8 children (7 sons, one of which signed for Italian football clubs Juventus, Sambdoria, Perugia),  famous for his quotes, his name can be spelled in 37 ways.

Written by “The List Man”